Fran Lebowitz

Randomness scares people. Religion is a way to explain randomness.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning restless urge to write or paint simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

Nothing succeeds like address.