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Funny Quotes

If you have

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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

Funny SMS Jokes

— Scott Adams
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Will Rogers

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I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

Funny Quotes About Life

— Will Rogers
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People

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— Rosie Fitt

People are like cakes, sometimes the ones that look the sweetest and most delicious are the ones that are the most disappointing, whilst a pleasant surprise comes from a plainer exterior with a scrummy filling......... >>>Read more

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The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still needs mowing.

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The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but it still needs mowing.

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An archaeologist is the

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An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

— Agatha Christie
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When I was in

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When I was in school I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

— Woody Allen
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The only thing worse

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The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.

— Sandra Litoff
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I tended to place

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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

— Woody Allen
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I recently read that

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I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

— David Bissonette
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